Just thinking about some stuff

I hate getting in a funk. It's really just...ugh, so draining. Don't you just hate those moods where you know you have stuff to do, you kinda want to do it but you just can't? Either because it keeps going wrong or you're just not feeling it. I do.

So instead of working on the hundred and one things I have to be doing right now, I'm sitting in my pyjama's typing an entry for a blog I basically ignore. Go me?

I guess I'm just kind of sad today cause a really good friend of mine, who I've only known since I started at college, is leaving. I only found out today that they're leaving tomorrow, which is a shock and also really sad. They were a really good friend despite the short time I knew them, and basically the only person in my class on my 'wavelength' as it were. I now have no one to make internet jokes with or who shares my sense of humour enough for me to really be myself, so that is a huge downer.

But this person leaving and the reason for their leaving makes me think about a lot of stuff. Like how much I miss my old friends from secondary school and the way it was just so easy to be around them and how we clicked so well, even if we fought and had differences etc. If you forget all of the drama and just think about our conversations - which I wish I could have permanently stored somewhere - then it was just great. I was contemplating earlier about sending a mass message on facebook to all of them, saying how much I miss hanging out. I haven't really spoken to anyone but Alex and Simon since I left, apart from at the awards evening thing I had to go to.

And yeah, I'm fine without them. But I do miss them. It's weird how I work like that. I'm perfectly fine on my own, I can exist alone, but I love having friends. It's the way most people work, I suppose. We're pretty much designed to be a social species.

Other things I was thinking about were just on the lines of how easy it seems to be to just up and leave somewhere. Yeah your life wouldn't be great, you wouldn't have it easy but if you knew someone somewhere else or if you planned even a little bit, it would be so easy to leave everything. And that's scary. How quickly a situation can be changed, I mean. And I can see the temptation for people to do that, to just leave their situation behind, especially if it's bad. It probably is hard in reality but it seems to be just so easy.

One final thing I was thinking about was how easy it is to ruin your own life. It's so damn hard to get respect and trust and all these things from people but it is disgustingly easy to lose them and destroy them. With the internet and all you can literally destroy yourself in a few clicks. Isn't that terrifying? One push of a button and everything you've spent your whole life working for is gone.

Why is it so easy to destroy things when it's so hard to build them? Paintings that take years to complete can be torn up in less than a minute. Buildings that took hundreds of hours and millions of pounds to build can be levelled in moments, with the right equipment. Reputations that have taken a lifetime to create can be destroyed in one tiny moment.

Just something for anyone reading to think about.